October 13, 2009 - 9:25pm
Guys I feel I am slipping into addiction. I feel so hopeless, like I have this fear while I'm going thru withdrawals, Is it ever going to go away or do I have to keep feeding it ,this vicious cycle. Please any advice on how to cope with this. I know in my heart and mind that it is a problem and most addicts don't have that gift. I'm just trying to find a way out of all drugs.
October 13, 2009 - 11:05pm
#2
Okay, I won't go much into
Okay, I won't go much into detail, but I can say That I was diagnosed with OCD about a yr ago. The anxiety and fear were so disabling that all I could do was stay in bed and go thru my thought's what if's. And then I went to a Hospital to get help and I met this guy who was on Klonopins for Bi Polar disorder. I in the past have taken klonopin once or twice but really never liked the effects of it. But I knew they were for anxiety. So I asked my friend in the hospital if he could slip me some when he leaves. He did and when I took it all the pain and sufferimg went away just like that. That is how it all began and now that I've developed a coping skill for my OCD it's just been an addiction trying to get that effect I got when I first took the k-pin . That's my story and it's getting harder and harder to quit. But I'm going to try to endure the withdrawals and hopfully find that place of peace again.
October 15, 2009 - 3:26pm
#3
I wish I could help more but
I wish I could help more but I have no problem going off and on Klonopin, or any other benzo, I just dont get addicted to them or even dependant. I do know what its like to have severe anxiety that keeps you up at night because you are nervous and cant stop thinking. Its almost like that feeling on a roller coaster when your stomach drops, but 24/7 & not in the fun sense. If you have insurance I think a great first step is to start some CBT, cognitive behavioral therapy, like the coping skills you mentioned while figuring out with your doctor the best course of treatment. Im not quite sure I understand the whole story, but Klonopin is an excellent tool, one that changed my life forever. If you feel you are addicted because you take it without a script for your anxiety you may not necessarily be addicted. Now if you know you are abusing them thats another story. Talk to your doctor, Klonopin might be an answer or it might not. Many say there should only be used short term but I have been on it for years, & take it as prescribed maintaining on a low dose. If you think you can control your issues without medication try a slow taper. Stopping cold turkey will make it harder on you. Get the support of a trusted loved one, the most successful recovered addicts I have noticed made it because of the support and love they had. Good luck.
Congrats on coming forward to get help, thats the first and often one of the hardest steps.
October 14, 2009 - 6:48am
#4
Mrbradman, you truly have a
Mrbradman, you truly have a gift. At first I was taking them as needed. Now I'm just flat out abusing them. Which I understand is wrong. I'm on disablity but It's like I want to go to my own lit'l island away from all those who temp me to do this. I have a man I would not call him a friend cos he pushes his pills on you. I tried to tell him but he doesn't listen but I'm blaming someone else for my own mistakes. I think I may need to go to Rehab and sober up and have a clean start. Thank you all for listening.
October 14, 2009 - 7:10am
#5
Pure-O
I'm also a Pure-O, many of you don't understand that. I have only obsessions without compulsions. Ruminating in my mind to find the answer to shut off the obsessive thinking. But I'm fine most the time and don't need benzo's but sometimes I (spike) and elevation in my obsession that I have no control of. And that's when I need the benzo's. But I know in my mind if they gave me a script of them I would take them in days and not as prescribed. I wish as I get older I will be able to endure the temptation and It will become a helper in my time of need.
October 14, 2009 - 1:47pm
#6
Man you are honest enough for me
Man, you found a medicine that works for you. Just keep a log of everything that you are dealing with. At this point, an addictionologist might be good for you. I meen, have control of your life yeah, but also have control over your treatment. You said that you have a documented condition right? OCD? You should get treatment for that BUT (here is the rub) when you get help, you HAVE to be responsible, like you know. Its a hard lesson but man make sure that you get help. I mean ER's are there man.
October 14, 2009 - 2:34pm
#7
Sonic, you hit step two right
Sonic, you hit step two right on the head. After you realize you have a problem and need help, then you get rid of any temptations. Tell pill pushers not to call you, then delete their number. If they keep calling, house phones and cell phones have a wonderful block feature. As far as addictions go, you seem to have your head on more straight than anyone Ive ever seen. On top of everything you've shared, you are also aware that you are responsible for your own actions and not blaming others. Just dont forget, some of those "others" are not there to help either though. I think you are going to be just fine if you keep going in the same direction. There are free rehabs for people that meet income criteria which I assume you would, you just have to be ready and willing. Keep your head up, you are one pretty cool guy.
I, for one have no idea of who you are. A good place to start is; Why are you using drugs in the first place? Why did you start? Was it from pain or boredom that you started taking opioids, or in your case, I guess I'd have to call them narcotics since you think that you're an addict. Please Sonic, draw us a thumbnail sketch of your slippery slope . . . is it just Xanax as you have already posted about or are you into something else as well? This board is not really about addiction but if you are totally honest with us you will find that there are helping hands a'plenty here. Give us your story and I'm sure that plenty of folks will offer their help.
If it's too hard to do it right on the board send me a PM and I'll try my best . . . Q