Pharmer.org

Amanda H.

well i went to the apt. he didn't give me anything for pain. but the actualyl doctor had an emergeny soo i had to see his assistent right well he did test to see what muscles i have lost and so on. this guy was rude. really rude he was like i can't do anything if you aint trying and really iw as trying to push my hand out and in and it hurt soo bad he didn't care.. i seen the mri on the screen and it looked bad to me. then this assistant started telling me about my smoking and telling me i need phescal therpy well i told him i dont have that kind of money ... at all he are actually in dept and that i have been though doing it at home.. well he got mad and was really rude to my husband well i looked at him and ask one simple question.. i said did you have a bad say? and he was like you need to come back the 29th of this month to see the surgen.. wow he was mean... i was really mad..soo i went back to my doctor and told him what happened and my doctor went ahead and gave me 75 vic.and he said more then likely this doctor wants to have surguy done.. i am very confused

 "There is simply no reason for specialists, and professionals to behave in this manner.

 It does not matter that they have spent years in school and large sums of money.  They act as if they are better than everyone who isn't a doctor.  Unacceptable! "

To be frank, this statement really made me angry.  There is no reason for anyone to treat someone rudely or with disrespect, but there seems to be special ire saved for doctors.  Clerks, salesmen, customer service reps, waitresses, mechanics, and all manner of other people seem to get a free pass.  No one ever says "those clerks at McDonald's act as if they are better than everyone who isn't a fast food service worker."  No, it doesn't matter that the person at the widow at the drive through doesn't have a high school education, and is making minimum wage, they should still treat their customers with courtesy and respect.

Part of the job of a doctor is to confront a person when they have unrealistic expectations, reducate them when they do not need the treatment they believe they need, confront them about misusing their prescription drugs, their drug or alcohol addiction to say the hard things that need to be addressed and risk being thought of as rude, disrespectful, and condescending.

"This is one of the major reasons why most people do not trust their physicians."

Most people do not trust their physicians?  This is news to me.  It always boggles my mind when I run across someone who trusts the medical opinion of her hairdresser, or a friend from church more than the opinion of their doctor (who did indeed spend many many years learning and refining his trade and skills, and constantly pours over the latest articles and journals in an effort to keep those skills up to date).

 "I do understand that sometimes it is hard to leave your personal issues at home but you can at least try." 

Maybe patients should leave the chips on their shoulders at home too.  There is nothing wrong with trying to get the patient to try harder, or with recommending physical therapy.

Here is a little news article which suggests doctors are not as caring as they should be.

 Seems, I'm not the only one who's noticed this 

"Sometimes it is hard to see the forest for the trees."

I have no idea what you are referring to here.

"There is difference in re-educating someone and scolding them, or treating them as if they do not understand what is going on their own body."

Often, people feel scolded or shamed when they have been criticized or corrected in a very appropriate manner. It allows them to save face and project responsibility away from themselves and onto someone else. I see this happen frequently in health care encounters and in other situations.

"Dr. Lois have you ever looked at an issue from a patients persceptive?"

All of us who are physicians have also been patients. So of course we have looked at things from a patient persepective. Patient motivation, patient interviewing, patient education, patient psychology dealing with difficult patients and families these are all subjects that are taught in medical school and refined and practiced throughout a physician's medical education.

"As for my comment about doctors acting better than everyone else Well I don't know where you have been hiding but I have experienced it more than once or twice. It's mainly the so called specialists but general practitioners are not immune."

If this is something that you commonly experience, perhaps you should look at how you can change your own behavior or patterns of thinking so you can get more out of your medical encounters and no longer feel that the doctor is acting as if he is better than everyone else, and most importantly so you do not feel that the doctor is acting better than you.

"I really wonder why medical schools do not do a better job at teaching students empathy. A good bed side maner goes a long way."

Empathy and "good bedside manner" are not the same thing. It is not only important, but critical for a physician to maintain a certain degree of clinical distance. A physician who is overly emeshed in the emotional life of his patients has lost clinical objectivity and perspective, is no longer able to make good decisions, and will likely suffer from psychiatric symptoms.

"What happened to becoming a healthcare practitioner because you wanted to help people."

There are many reasons people have for choosing to become physicians. If your main motivation is because you "want to help people" you will likely suffer from tremendous job dissatisfaction. There are a lot of less demanding jobs that pay better where you "can help people".

"Curing sickness or if that can not be done then just being there when a learned friend or a shoulder to cry on is needed."

Your doctor is not there to be your friend. Mary Fisher, a wealthy socialite who contracted AIDS back when it was a uniformly fatal disease gave a speach where she talked about how she expected her doctor to sit on the side of her bed, put his arm around her and cry with her! How absurd and self-absorbed. Some physicians have several patients die weekly, and many more diagnosed for the first time with serious debilitating and fatal illnesses. How can these physicians possibly show the type of emotional concern and support for patients that is supposed to be provided by friends and family.

"Please don't tell me requlations and paperwork don't allow it. That's bull!"

"I'm not going to apologize for what I've posted. The fact that it made you angry seems to offer credence to what I'm saying."

I certainly would never ask for an apology from you nor would I ever have any need for one. I do not see how my statement supports your belief in any way.

"Perhaps, it would be better to recognize there is a problem and working towards a solution."

There are good and bad physicians, and most of us fall in-between. Take us for what we are. We are humans, we have personal lives, we have bills to pay, we get tired of dealing with bologna, and we do not have all the answers, and a lot of the time the right answer is not what the patient is ready to hear. That doesn't change the answer.

Physicians are accused of thinking they are gods, but woe unto any physician who fails to act with omnipotence or omniscience or with unwavering, courtesey, and gracious understanding no matter how unreasonable, demanding, and inappropriate a patient may behave.

"started telling me about my smoking..."  

Many othopedic surgeons insist that their patients stop smoking before surgery.  Smoking impairs circulation in the small blood vessels and slow bone healing.  The surgeon doesn't want to have a poor outcome because of the bone not healing because the patient was smoking. 

"telling me i need phescal therpy..."

Physical therapy is almost always recommended as a first resort and almost always necessary following back surgery.  Many orthopedic problems including back and neck problems get better on their own after 3-6 months with or without physical therapy.  Consider going for a few sessions and then doing the treatments and exercises at home.  Another alternative is seeing a physical medicine doctor. 

I am sorry you had a bad experience.  This is not to negate that you felt you were treated rudely, but to give a little insight into why you might have been treated this way.  Sometimes (maybe a lot of times) patients do exaggerate or fake the level of disability they have because they are afraid of getting cut off of their medications, or being sent back to work too early, or loosing a disability case, or they do not make a strong effort because it hurts too much or they anticipate that it will hurt if they make a strong effort rather than because their nerves won't work.  There is no simple test to tell if someone is faking or exaggerating.  Getting you mad in order to get you to give it a little more effort sometimes works to overcome this type of patient inhibition.

yeah i am gonna see a second openion cause i really dont want the surgury done right yet.. though it would be nice to just get it fixed and done with so this doesn't go on the rest of my life. i did quit smoking but its been really hard .. yeah my prim doctor gave me pain pills untile something is done. well i see the nero. doctor again on the 29th. and i hope this one gos better then the last. i will try harder to move my muscle but its just hard to. its hard to push and pick up well thank you for ally our help i'll keep everyone updated on whats gonna happen

are you suggesting that i do have bad habits that i do not take care of myself . look i might not have the money to go thru phy.therpy. but also i have taken good care of myself actually i might have smoked cigs. but i have never picked up drugs or drunk for fun. nor do i have the time of day to listen to someone degrade me because no offence you think i have bad habites.. i was only thinking out of my head and trying to get some answer's but maybe if you like judgeing people you should not be on here.. so at this point im not judgeing you but very angry that you came on here and judged me .. thank you

I am not sure where in my comment, that I was once degrading you. The comment was to all patients, as well as myself, that Dr's need, and are expected to address out negative behaviors. I did not accuse you of anything, just a reminder that a when you see a Dr, you sign at letter to consent to treatment, and that treatment includes talking to you about any actions that may be a negative to your health. Those things could be as small as doing more walking, or not drinking to much coffee. It does not have to be drugs or alcohol related.