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I have this friend....I have a friend who lives in my husbands and my home. He has been a very good friend for many years until he found benzo's. Now, he can't stay away from them. It's gotten so bad that if he doesn't have something then he wants to kill himself. Around Febuary 2007 he got into a bad relationship that turned wrong. First it was a zanax, now it's anything with a benzo (or anything period thats around)! So to try to help I let him (and his dog) move into our home, it got so bad that he went into a seizer on my kitchen floor because of the withdraw of the benzo's. He was in a coma for two days and in the hospital for 2 1/2 weeks. Didn't work out for him to well since now because of benzo's he has to take meds and see a doctor all the time to prevent seizers for the rest of his life now! He won't admit he is addicted but everyone knows that he is! Anyway, he is living with us and we watch him just sink more and more everyday and not to mention in debt to us for over $1000. I want to kick him out because he isn't learning anything and it feels like he is just taking advantage of us and we want him to move. The problem is he doesn't have anywhere to go! I know that he has gotten so bad that he needs rehab but everytime you say something he justs get an attitude and still wants us to pitty him. Is there any way that my husband and I can get him checked into a rehab (us not being family) before he kills himself over these pills?? I just need to get others opinions on the subject because I don't know what to do anymore, all I know is I have had it and want to get him help before he is no longer welcome here (which isn't to far around the corner). ( categories: Discussion of Prescription and OTC Meds )
My apologies.Try this site-
My apologies. Try this site- OpiateDetoxRecovery.com- it is a site about all kinds of addictoins, but primarily opiates. Or, try Medhelp.org's addiction section which also deals with all kinds of addictions. Both of the above mentioned sites are primarily used for addicts and addicts' family members to talk, and support each other. Pharmer.org, while we do enjoy discussing medicine and medicinal topics, is not the page to deal with addictions. It is a pill ID site, with frequent discussions about medicine. None of us are doctors (for the most part), and none of us are qualified to tell you what to do or not to do. My advice is to try one of the above sites. I'm not being rude, I'm simply trying to show you other sites that deal exclusively with these types of problems. gtrplayer jesimarie
I know this forum is not for this type of thread but I will give you my suggestion which is only an opinion. You are enableing this "freind" to fall lower and lower by allowing him a place to stay and feed his addiction. For your sake and your families, you need to lay down the law and give him an ultimatum. You possibly can be held liable if he has a fatal seizure by knowingly allowing this to go on in your home He has a problem. He needs help for his problem. I would give him 1 week to show you he is doing somthing towards helping the problem such as going to an addiction speacialist, seeing a councilar, checking into rehab. He needs to show you somthing within 1 week or he is out of not only your house, but your life also - there will be no further communication with you. Its tough love, but its for his own good. And you need to stand strong on whatever ultimatum you give him. No second chances. Now on the flipside, if he does do any of the above, you should back him in every way possible. Giving him rides, maybe help him with some of his own obligations, just reward him in any way you can. I dont think there is any way for you to get him into rehab without his own admission unless he is a danger to himself or others, then maybe the authorities can be of some help. I would call 211 which is a universal crisis help line, and tell them what you told us, and they can advise you better on what your possibilties are. I wish you and your freind brighter days ahead... .....MUD ;) Move him out
You didn't say whether you have any kids, I'm guessing not, but kids or not, you darn sure don't need this around your house. Its not going to do anything to help your relationship with your husband. It might be even worth a few more bucks to help him find a place of him own, to get him out of your house. I don't mean to be cold, but when it comes to a choice between him and your family there is no choice. You can stay better friends if he is not doing all this stuff in your house. I am not saying to abandon him, but it is in your best interest if he is an adult to help him live on his own as an adult. If he chooses to do something crazy later, it's not your fault. There are a number of things you can learn at the sites gtrplayer linked you to. Read that material. Destroying himself is one thing, destroying you and your husband is another. Practice adequate self defense. thelifeline As a former law enforcement
As a former law enforcement official, I would recommend to you to look at the legal aspect of your situation (your rights as the homeowner). Specifically look at what your states laws say in regards to "guests" in your home and what you can and can't do to remove them. The safety of your person and your home have to be considered in this type of situation (and all out there know how these things tend to progress, from seizures and expensive ambulance rides to theft of your belongings to pay for his habit). Time to not just be tough, but unfortunately, cold and purposeful. Yes there is a way..... If a
Yes there is a way..... If a person is a danger to themself you can have them involuntarily committed. I would advise contacting some kind of law inforcement and or mental hospital in your area. You will have to prove that he is a danger to himself and may have to go through some court procedding, but regardless of the turnout I doubt he will still want to live with you after that. Check with a licensed MD before you take any suggestions! In my experience, if he is
In my experience, if he is violent, intoxicated, siezing, or you just want him out of the house, you can call the police. The police will take him to the hospital and the police and the ER doctor will file a petition to have him involuntarily committed for detox and rehab. Then they can hold him for a few days, even against his will, for observation, until he goes before a judge. If he has still not agreed to voluntary treatment, and the hospital is not willing to release him, the judge will decide if he is mentally competant, or an imminent threat to himself or others and either order him to be released, or to be involuntarily admitted until treatment is completed. The judge may order treatment in a halfway house or day program as well depending on the recommendation of the the hospital. Laws may vary by state. Only one way
The only way to do it, is just do it....you can't have someone commited unless they are a danger to you, or themselves( hard to prove) but you must think about your family, you did the best you could to help, but addicts need to hit their bottom before they can get better, and if he is safe and sound in your home his bottom will never come.
Good Luck Kim I did it!
I did it and I feel so much better!!! Well, thank you everyone for everything. It's helped me a lot and I did lay down the law. He is going to see a councilor, in which my husband and I are taking him to and we are trying to give him the oppertunity to get help. We'll see how it goes from here! Thank you though for the help! By the way, NO kids. I wouldn't have allowed that anywhere near a child let alone mine! ~Jessi~ |
Joined: 2007-08-20